Does Reefing Have a Bro Code?

[Sisterlimonpot]

There are also the hobbyists that companies are afraid to give products too... for fear of honest reviews and public feedback...

I think that's a catch 22. If they give it to you to beta test and have you sign an NDA, you are bound by contract not to say anything negative. Cough cough...

 

[Imrahilwjz]

My wife is kind enough to tell visitors that she thinks the aquarium is valuable because she sees that it is a source of stress relief for me. Most purchases I don't have to ask about, but if it gets up above $500 I would most probably consult her. I once bought Reeflo's largest pump on my own authority. I wish I'd given her s chance to talk me out of it, since it's just sitting on a shelf, doing nothing.

 

[bswicicki]

I don't know guys, I am the missus in our house and I am the one with the tank. I have found honesty and transparency to be the best policy when approaching my Mr about new stuff for the tank. He has his own hobby and holds to the same policy of honesty and transparency. We both try to use self control and it builds patience which isn't a bad thing either.

That’s what he tells you

 

[Pazzoman]

Guess my biggest fear is if something was to happen to me, my wife sells all my stuff for what I told her I paid for it

 

[braaap]

I don’t follow the trends. I buy what I like and deem the best equipment available for my situation. Same goes to livestock choices. People love hammers and torches. I don’t. I also buy what I want when I want. As does my wife. Time is the main concern for us not budget. I’m so busy with business and life that I rarely have the time to truly enjoy this hobby. So when I do have the time I don’t hold back.

 

[braaap]

There are also the hobbyists that companies are afraid to give products too... for fear of honest reviews and public feedback...

I literally had a major manufacturer of reef equipment tell me that I couldn’t beta something because my feedback would be “too raw and aggressive.” Sorry I’m honest?

 

[TangerineSpeedo]

Are you asking about the perception most hobbyists have about how popular hobbyists get equipment for their systems?

Are you asking if companies use hobbyists to inadvertently shill for them by offering product for free or at a very discounted rate? And in turn, most of the (what I like to call) tourists are unsuspecting and see that everyone uses this product. Which means, surely they must pay full price if they want to be successful.

To where the tourist never suspects anything to be out of the ordinary and is happy to pay retail because everybody else did.

The product being equipment, corals, food, additives etc.

Is that what you're asking?

I thought he was asking about the embellishments we tell our partners (or ourselves) about the cost of reefing.
No?

 

[vlangel]

That’s what he tells you

His hobby is bottle collecting so if he's hiding them so I don't know about them, it seems like it would diminish the pleasure of collecting. So I think I know what's going on. Our house isn't that big, ha ha!

 

[Sisterlimonpot]

I thought he was asking about the embellishments we tell our partners (or ourselves) about the cost of reefing.
No?

After rereading the 1st post, you're right.

I certainly didn't interpret it that way when I read it. I don't know where my head was when stumbling onto this thread. With that said:

Let’s be real—does reefing have its own Bro Code? You know, the unspoken rules we all follow to keep the peace at home while quietly pushing the limits of our tanks (and budgets).

Not trying to inject judgement. From a relationship perspective, I don't know how healthy this is. This sounds extremely selfish and to me says you're choosing your reef tank over your significant other. Nothing wrong with that, I get there are people out there that value thier tank over their spouse.

I don't think I ever kept my wife in the dark with any purchase for my tank. To be fair, there have been multiple times when I point at a coral and say, "can you believe people are paying $500 for a 1/2" frag of this? I got it for free", "Do you see that coral right there? That's a $1200‐2000 frag. I traded my time for that one".

But that all circles back to my interpretation that it's easy for a hobbyist to fall for this notion that everyone is paying retail. When in my opinion, not too many people are.

My initial thought of bro code was that the majority of hobbyist knows (from experience) that no one pays retail but tells everyone they do.

Why would you do that? For a couple reasons.

Thinking that when the $1000 coral you got for $200 grows large enough to frag, youre going to be raking in the money. Or to not disrupt the sales for your favorite coral farmer that sold you a coral at such a discounted price, or because you like that this is an expensive hobby and want to keep the rift raft out.

I mean it all stems from this notion that no one wants to disrupt the status quo. No one's willing to pull back the curtain and reveal how marketing has a strong grip on our hobby. Perhaps if we break up the stigma, if the right people begin being honest with the community, we wouldn't have to lie to our significant others about our purchases.

But that's not the intention of this thread. And for that I apologize.

 

[BryanM]

My wife knows exactly what we spend, is often contributing to the cause as well. No need for a bro code here.

 

[Dragen Fiend]

It can make my money back....

Seriously when my GF asks how much I spent as I left the store. I said $300. She says for the tiny brown bag. I said yea I got 3 corals. But....they will make babies which I can resell.

Will they? Probably? Will I sell them? Probably not.

 

[oliver1812]

I am in the camp where, while me and my wife are out running errands I "suggest" that we stop by our LFS and "LOOK" at the pretty fish.
The gorgeous fish and coral do the rest....no complaints if you are complicit!