Wife Agro

[Griffith]

Alright, so let me tell you about my fish tank—a masterpiece I’ve been working on for years. I’m easily $65k deep into this underwater empire. Every fish has a name, they recognize me, and when I walk by, it's like I’m a rock star entering an aquarium red carpet event. My fish are living in the Elon Musk of tanks.

But recently, my wife has declared war. She’s over it. She’s done with the salt spray that makes our office feel like a pirate ship. She’s done with the endless parade of bottles (Magnesium, KH, Po-X, NO—you’d think I was running a chemistry lab). And apparently, the “ungodly sulfur smell” that emerges once a month during tank cleaning has been rebranded as a biological weapon.

So, I’ve gotta ask: Anyone else out here battling wife agro over their tanks? How do you keep the peace while maintaining the world’s priciest, smelliest fish spa? Help a tank enthusiast out!

 

[exnisstech]

It's easy for me. I pay all the bills and she drives a new truck that I also paid for. She never complains.

EDIT : I want to mention we have been together over 30 years, raised three great daughters, and have both been divorced but are currently not married

 

[fish farmer]

Alright, so let me tell you about my fish tank—a masterpiece I’ve been working on for years. I’m easily $65k deep into this underwater empire. Every fish has a name, they recognize me, and when I walk by, it's like I’m a rock star entering an aquarium red carpet event. My fish are living in the Elon Musk of tanks.

But recently, my wife has declared war. She’s over it. She’s done with the salt spray that makes our office feel like a pirate ship. She’s done with the endless parade of bottles (Magnesium, KH, Po-X, NO—you’d think I was running a chemistry lab). And apparently, the “ungodly sulfur smell” that emerges once a month during tank cleaning has been rebranded as a biological weapon.

So, I’ve gotta ask: Anyone else out here battling wife agro over their tanks? How do you keep the peace while maintaining the world’s priciest, smelliest fish spa? Help a tank enthusiast out!

Does she have hobbies?

It appears you really love the tank, was she on board in the beginning? Is there something else going on in your family/job/lifestyle that is directing her to dislike the tank when it is something completely different.

 

[Griffith]

It's easy for me. I pay all the bills and she drives a new truck that I also paid for. She never complains

I want to be like you when I grow up

 

[exnisstech]

I want to be like you when I grow up

It has its advantages

 

[mjszos]

It's easy - I let her pick the overwhelming majority of fish and coral that go into the tank. As long as I keep it clean and healthy, she loves it being the centerpiece of our dining room.

It's easy for me. I pay all the bills and she drives a new truck that I also paid for. She never complains

And also this.

it's usually this.

 

[wooderbox]

Maybe get her started on her own tank? Sharing the same hobby is very important especially when it cost 65k.

 

[Griffith]

Maybe get her started on her own tank? Sharing the same hobby is very important especially when it cost 65k.

Lol im not sure i can afford a second tank.

 

[Softhammer]

That cost you $65,000?! I’m ticked at you too… you should be able to snorkel in the tank for that amount of money!

 

[Gumbies R Us]

Considering my wife is the one encourages me to buy stuff, I would say I have a different kind of agro, haha.

 

[mpatterson42]

You've got to pick your battles. I'd like to have a tank with a mantis shrimp, but my wife absolutely hates them and refuses to even discuss the possibility of having one. So whenever a conversation about my tank seems to be going downhill, I'll bring up getting a mantis shrimp to deflect from whatever other complaint she has.

 

[Cheese Griller]

If it were me I’d focus on the concrete problems in your original post. It doesn’t really sound like she cares much about the financial aspect, and more about the slight inconveniences the tank brings. As aquarists most of us have probably gone nose blind to the majority of the smells, so they’re probably so much worse for her. Tons of bottles of chemicals aren’t very slightly, and salt creep/spray is really bothersome to look at.

Firstly, Find some way to prevent the salt spray, whether that be some form of dehumidifier or other way to block it from exiting the tank in the first place.

Secondly, get some opaque storage cabinets for all your reefing stuff (or store it somewhere out of view), and be better about organizing it so she doesn’t have to look at clutter all the time.

Third, get some sort of air freshener and delploy it after your tank maintenance. I had a lot of the same complaints from my parents when keeping tanks in high school, and the above alleviated those complaints, plus I enjoyed my tanks more as well!!

 

[Tamberav]

I’m the wife in my relationship so problem solved.

Radions notorious for turning on at random times and poor output per dollar spent and Red Sea leaker?


Honestly she might be right.

Haha, sorry. I think I turned this into a “roast me” post.

I am just teasing

Just tell her it makes you happy and try to control the spray

Maybe she needs her own office where she can set up her own zen?

 

[Jimbo327]

Here's what I do.

First, don't ever let the wife know how much you have sunk into your little hobby. The math is easy, always drop a zero or divide it by 3...whichever is more believable. You got $6.5k or $22k into that tank, and you are sticking to it.

Second, adjust your nozzles to reduce the spray and salt creep. One reason why I don't rock a rimless. I also keep a towel always nearby.

Third, always run carbon or ozone, that will keep the smell down.

Fourth, if you are doing cleaning, sent her out of the house like a shopping trip to Hobby Lobby or some of her favorite stores. Get a few gift cards to encourage the trip. And you get kudos points as well. Win/win.

Fifth, get a matching cabinet near the tank to store all of your chemicals and tools.

If all else fails, then you gotta do what you gotta do. Find a new wife.

 

[Aquariumaddictuk]

For me it's relatively straightforward, I gave up booze after 10 years of high functioning alcoholism & took up fish tanks & decaff coffee.
My wife's happy with my new addiction

 

[NeedAReef]

you could be at the bar with the guys and getting hit on by the bimbos...would she prefer that?

 

[Johnd651]

You gotta make her think it's her idea. Let her pick a fish or coral.

 

[Jasonak]

Lol im not sure i can afford a second tank.

Start her on freshwater
My wife has two tanks now.

 

[AlyciaMarie]

Convince her to join in on the fun.

- Sincerely, a reefer's wife

 

[fish farmer]

I’m the wife in my relationship so problem solved.

Radions notorious for turning on at random times and poor output per dollar spent and Red Sea leaker?


Honestly she might be right.

Haha, sorry. I think I turned this into a “roast me” post.

I am just teasing

Just tell her it makes you happy and try to control the spray

Maybe she needs her own office where she can set up her own zen?

My wife took over the extra room...the one I was using as my craft/fly tying room. She needed a music room/home office and extra bed to get away from my snoring.

A couple years go by, "why don't you tie flies anymore?" "I don't have a good desk to do it at."

She feld bad, so we consolidated one of her bookshelves down in the living room so I could put a nice antique roll top desk for my crafty time. Win, win.