I'm really sorry to hear about the intimidating men in the hobby. I certainly have experienced the same thing though - some dudes just give you a look of dismissal and won't help - but I just leave those jerks alone to deal with their superiority complex somewhere else. It sucks, but they can't tell you about who you are. They can only tell you about themselves through their actions.This is a generalization and I do not have any numbers, data or other research to back it up, but it has been proposed that this hobby appeals to men because its a science based hobby and as such men have that area of the brain that digs math and science more so than women. This in no way assumes that women are not just as capable in the math and science part, just that for a hobby, it may not be as appealing. Also the maintenance is not for the feint of heart or body. This is a physical hobby as well as a mental one. Most of the women I know, would not be in to carrying heavy buckets & jugs of water or boxes of salt and if they ever had to clean a skimmer cup or scrape algae off a turf scrubber they would probably vomit. Again these are women I know and not representative of the masses. Being a woman, I would like to see more get into the hobby, but not because I feel ostracized or intimidated by my male counterparts who outnumber my gender, but to see more of a diverse cross section in the hobby and to see if there is much difference in Reefing style from one gender to another.
There are so many nice, respectful men in the hobby. I've got my various lfs's ranked by friendliness. Also, Google has been my friend. And this forum has been so fun! Best of luck to you and I really hope you are able to explore and enjoy despite the rude people. [emoji1]